NEW ROOMATE NEEDED!

59 Argyle needs a new resident! This new resident should ideally be female, given that there will be four male tenants and a girl really helps to balance out the vibe, but boys are welcome to express their interest as well (we're equal opportunists!).

Qualifications: Relatively neat & tidy, though "clean freak" isn't necessary; FUN; okay with a cat or two being underfoot; holds down a job and/or goes to school; and interested in participating in the production of the Argyle basement shows.

Benefits: Dirt cheap rent ($350 a month!); unbeatable location (two steps from Elgin St. but not right smack in the middle of the lame thirtysomething bar district); four badass boy roommates; one or two adorable kitties, free access to intimate shows featuring amazing up-and-coming underground bands; and the ability to participate in events that unite the Ottawa music community.

If you're interested, please call Toby at (613)262-0407 or email: tobydalrymple@gmail.com Read more!

Ipod Battle - WE LOST

Ipod Battle, originally uploaded by paulgalipeau.

this was right before steff put out the fire

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FUCKED CORPSE COMMIN' ATCHYA AKKA AKKA!

2806200730.jpg, originally uploaded by discop.

Fucked Corpse will be openning for BE BAD! Aug 3. Dont miss it.

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JULY AND AUGUST LISTINGS

SHOWS FOR JULY AND AUGUST.... including Screaming Females, Green Go and Be Bad!!!! Ok. So here is a tentative schedule. There is plenty more to come, and updates will folo.

First up is the Screaming Females, playing the day after Canada day. Some sick sounds from the south - indie garage sounds... They are accompanied by some Ottawans F!ght F!ght F!ght. dance time 8pm cost 5 bucks.

And after that, some heavy sounds July 10 with Elephantoms, Trigger Effect and more. That show starts around 7 and costs 5 bucks.


August is going to be busy busy!

on Aug 3: Be Bad in town with Ottawa's best band Fucked Corpse. This show is gonna be bad. Fucked corpse bad. It starts 7pm doors, with a five bucks at the door ticket.


Aug 11: Green Go is coming , because Think About Life was too busy! Just kidding. These kids are out of Ontario's grossest named city, Guelph, but they will make you dance none the less. 7pm doors 5 bucks. with guests from Guelph ( looking for local openners, email me!)

Finally, August 23, the west really is the best and I'll prove it. Come watch Mark Birtle's Project be amazing with their guitars and drum thingies. They are playing with F! F! F! , too.

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Relief Maps review

By Ben Jensen

RELIEF MAPS REVIEW
There are two things influencing this review of Relief Maps, the local “indie rock” act that’re playing at 59 Argyle on Friday the 8th. Or, there WAS gonna be two things influencing this review; now there’s basically just one.



Until five minutes ago, I’d never even heard Relief Maps. I’d heard their name a lot, but until Toby contacted me to check out their MySpace (myspace.com/reliefmaps) and write a review to try to entice all the neighbourhood kids out of THEIR basements and into his to see this show, I’d never given them a listen.

And from the two things I knew about Relief Maps (that they were billed as “indie rock”, and that I’d been hearing their name a LOT), I assumed I’d hate them. Cuz that’s what you do when you’re an asshole (I’m an asshole). So you can bet that that preconceived notion was gonna be one of the things that influenced this review (I save that “fair and balanced” bullshit for the bleeding heart liberals over at CNN).

But I love 59 Argyle. Some of the best shows I’ve ever seen have been at Argyle: DD/MM/YYYY, Think About Life, Quebexico, Fucked Corpse, Cobra Noir, Sleeping Pilot, Crystal Clyffs.... The residents at 59 Argyle put a lot of time and effort into providing a fun, cheap, rewarding time for anyone in this city who’s interested, and it’s definitely paid off; in just--what? Two years? It’s become an institution within the independent music scene here in Ottawa.

And I won’t write such a typical, boring, pretentious sentence as “it’s become an institution within the independent music scene here in Ottawa”, unless I really really mean it and absolutely can’t think of another way of saying it; I HATE people who write shit like that. So you know I’m pretty impressed with 59 Argyle. So you can bet that THAT was gonna be the other thing that influenced this review.

Before even listening to Relief Maps, I was trying to come up with ambiguous ways to write this review, to neither condone nor condemn Relief Maps, cuz I didn’t wanna hurt Argyle, but I also didn’t wanna lend support to some “indie” band that I really couldn’t get into.

But then I checked out Relief Maps’ MySpace and listened to the four tracks they’ve got up there (and then listened to them over again a few times as I wrote this). And guess what? I totally didn’t hate them. They were actually alright. This isn’t really the type of music I’m into, so I’m not equipped with too many reference points, but I’ll try to describe their sound to you as best I can.

Relief Maps have crystal clear, but kind of sleepy female vocals. Their music is mellow, but it’s got some drive to it (the drum beats are usually relentlessly surging everything forward which is always good) and it’s also got a little bit of a kick to it (there are handclaps in there, and I know how much you kids like handclaps; hell, I do too). These guys (and girl) seem to be big on weaving their rhythm and lead guitar bits together throughout a song, and they play both of them more or less clean. I’d describe Relief Maps’ overall sound as “sunny”, and could see myself listening to this stuff on my way to work, if I ever had a job that I liked.

If you’re into “indie rock”, I’d say you’re gonna wanna check this show out. And if you’re already into Relief Maps, and you’ve already seen ‘em a bunch of times at other venues, and figure “whatever, I’ll skip this one”: maybe you shouldn’t skip this one. I don’t know what Relief Maps’ live show is like, but in my experience ANY band always seems to put on their best show when they’re playing 59 Argyle. Read more!

We Can Transport w/ Elephantoms and Trigger Effect July 10

(editor's note: in the spirit of freedom of speech I am posting this article by BJ. It can't all be nice reviews, after all. And since I asked a friend to review a band with an open mind, I'm not going to censor him for what he thinks, just because it is likely to offend at least a few people. On that note, your comments are welcome anytime, and if you would like to post your own review, just e-mail it to me-- you should make up your own mind and decide whether you agree with the writer or not, obvs.)


BY BEN JENSEN

This morning, I got an e-mail from Toby pointing me in the direction of We Can Transport’s MySpace page. They’re playing a show at 59 Argyle on July 10th, and he wanted to know if I’d write a review of what I heard on their MySpace page (MySpace is the new demo tape, press release, and world tour all rolled into one in case you’re still living in 2005 or whenever the hell it was MySpace wasn’t around yet).

We Can Transport is a local “indie” rock act. I don’t generally like “indie” rock (too pretentious, nerdy, and stewing in its own bullshit), but I went into this with an open mind, after my none-too-unpleasant experience reviewing Relief Maps for Toby (see June 6th’s entry).

My mind got even opener when I went to their MySpace page and saw some of the names they had in their ‘influences’ box: The Jesus Lizard? Wu-Tang? The Beatles? Alright, We Can Transport! Bring it on! This is gonna be amazing! I braced myself for a mixture of the best elements of some of the best artists of the 20th century.

And then I streamed the two tracks on their MySpace.

Now, here’s a little tip to any of you kids out there in bands: unless your band sounds like Duane Denison and David Sims laying down some punishing grooves with Ol’ Dirty Bastard rapping about blowjobs and the biggest band
in pop music laying their acid trips out to music for the whole world to be blown away by for decades, DON’T say your influences include The Jesus Lizard, Wu-Tang and the Beatles (the fucking BEATLES!).

After hearing We Can Transport’s tracks, I’d say instead of listing the aforementioned bands along with everything from Miles Davis to KRS-One as influences, they should have been honest with us and ONLY listed bands and artists that directly influenced their sound.

But then I guess it wouldn’t be nearly as impressive if their influences list read: “godspeed you! black emperor, Mogwai, and a dozen or so of the bands who heard godspeed you! black emperor and Mogwai and then thought THEY could do that too, and released so much boring, shitty music that no one can even stand to listen to godspeed you! black emperor and Mogwai anymore”.

In case you still don’t get it, here’s what these guys sound like: the tracks start off with some quiet guitar noodling. Then some MORE quiet guitar noodling on top of that. Then some drums. Oh, and don’t forget to play this with reverb; make it sound like we’re all floating in space or some shit. Keep doing the same thing with minor little accents for a couple minutes and then WOW us all by bringing some unexpected LOUD guitar work in there, ie: the big payoff.

Only it’s not unexpected. Unless this is your first rodeo, you know EXACTLY where each of these two tracks are going as soon as they start. We’ve heard it all before. I swear, if you played this for me 15 minutes from now, I would have no idea who it was. And I’m listening to it for the fourth time in a row right now.

Check these guys out if you like pretending to enjoy music on a level the average listener can’t possibly pick up on. This shit’s for 20 year olds who know everything about music cuz they downloaded Tom Waits’ entire back catalogue and skimmed through most of it. Read more!

RELIEF MAPS

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